Concerning Tom: - Leave it to the Poets, Man.

Hey there, Diary.

Browsing through my neglected apps on my phone, I came across a short poem I scribbled down about a month ago. It was 3:30am, and I was walking along Quadra street on my way home after a night of fun and drinking at Soprano's. I'll emphasize again that I was drunk. Without any further apologetic introduction, here it is:

Brick and mortar studded with neon sparks
Endlessly repeating,
While white lights of indulgence scream for attention
In spite of the pressing night, now
Moving to consolidate its dark reign.
I walk in off-beat stride,
Seeing every cackling face a vengeful demon,
Praying to my neglected God:
"O mighty deity of convenience,
Guide my foolish feet home safely
And carry me to sweet, forgetful rest.
You are as present as I require.
Amen and goodnight."

What I liked about finding it and reading it today was an interesting idea surrounding the convenience of prayer. I'm not a religious person. I was raised a Unitarian, and that's easily the most liberal of the Christian faiths. Haven't been to church in a good 7 years, and don't really intend on going back any time soon. It's just interesting to think back to any real moments of fear or despair I've been faced with in my life, and observe how desperation forced me into prayer rather than action.

Have you ever had a situation like that? Overwhelmed with grief or terror, not knowing what to do about it, but just hoping against hope that something could happen to change the circumstances against all odds? I've had one or two moments where I've specifically prayed to "God." I suppose if there really was an omnipotent being that demanded my fealty, he/she/it would be able to tell that I was just feigning this piety in the face of a crisis, and not grant my wishes. Either way, in those few isolated situations, I suppose I've taken some comfort in the idea that things were bigger than me, out of my hands, and that's reassuring. The suggestion that I needn't necessarily critically consider my next actions, and instead wait for a miracle is a very convenient one.

I wonder about all the people who do consider themselves religious, but inside don't actually believe in any of the doctrine. Do they think that going through the motions of something would be enough to win the favour of a deity or universal, incomprehensible force, or whatever "God" is supposed to be? I mean, if I went to church every week, but didn't really buy what they were selling, I'm pretty sure I'd just feel empty and like I was wasting 2 hours of my week again and again.

Musings! Gotta Run!